( ferdinand sighs, caught between the desperation to understand and to help, and to respect akito's request. strain appears on the face that he makes. )
I am really worried about you. I mean, look at you, and... ( he gestures to akito, and continues on earnestly. ) I feel as though there is something more beneath the surface of what you have already told me. I do not wish to cast any judgment on you for what you are going through, I just wish that I could do something more than merely make you tea and keep you company. Especially since you seem so... alone.
( with the cup now set down, she turned towards ferdinand with a rather angry expression on her face. she wanted his comfort and attention, this much was true, but she didn't want to be pitied. to be looked down upon, look as a sullen person who needed love out of a sense of obligation.
she rose up, this time moving away from the table and towards a window in the apartment. there she looked outside, seeing the up with eyes of disgust. finally after a moment of silence, she spoke, turning her head to ferdinand. )
Alone, what a genius observation really-
and what will you do once you get to know me better? Will you be by my side day and night and cure my loneliness? Hold and kiss my tears away? Or will you abandon me once you grow bored with me? Is that what you see? A project to fix?
I shouldn't have asked you to come. You can't ever understand me, let alone come to care for me.
( the outburst shocked ferdinand, whose spine straightened and eyes widened blinkingly. for a bit, he stayed put, eyes on him as he moved toward the window, where he spewed hypotheticals and accusations about his intent and character. heated as he was growing with each one, ferdinand needed to move, to somehow prove and defend himself, and so he rose from his spot and began to come closer, but not too close. )
You cannot say that when you spurn my attempts to understand whatever it is you refuse to allow! Otherwise, you have no proof that I could never do that. You are not a project, Akito. You are a person...
( although rage and her ever festering annoyance had overtaken all reason, it was there when ferdinand rose up and approached her, that akito knew she had messed up.
it didn't take very long, but the sweater she had on was slowly starting to tighten. the fabric began to compress, almost shrinking down in size but the process was slow enough for akito not to notice it immediately. )
A person? You don't know what I truly am.
( she nearly wanted to yell out what she truly was-
the god of the zodiac, head of a family full of cursed people and their only salvation was her. however she knew that would bring about its own set of troubles. so she moved back instead, her arm waving out as if to get him to step back. )
You say you'll understand me, but you won't ever. I don't need your pity...
( ferdinand watched, mouth agape as the sweater he had on began to shrink before his eyes while akito continued to rebuke his desire to help, to form a stronger bond. at first, he wondered if he was seeing things, but the longer he stared, the more he was sure that this was no trick of the light. )
Akito, your sweater...
( but how strange! and for a moment, he could swear that the form he was looking at struck him as more of a young woman than the young man he had assumed him to be. )
( just as akito was about to spew more hateful and resistant words to ferdinand, to get him to leave and let her be, the punishment she was wearing was starting to act. she had been told that if she got near other dominants, the sweater would shock her. that she had to behave around submissives and make them feel content around her. if she failed to do so, the sweater would begin to shrink until she 'fixed' the issue.
while anyone else wouldn't have cared deeply about the outcome of the sweater getting tighter and would care more about the pain of it, akito genuinely didn't want anyone to know what she was hiding. so she immediately began to move closer to ferdinand, her arms covering her body as much as possible but it was clear that the 'man' before him, was rather feminine. )
I'm sorry....okay? I'm sorry I didn't mean what I said....I just don't want....
( her right hand immediately rose up to rest on his shoulder, fingers squeezing ferdinand softly, almost begging. )
( this was quite the tumultuous exchange, and ferdinand struggled to keep up with both his thoughts, his observations, and his emotions. one moment, akito's spines had activated and forbade him from getting close, and the next, they were retracted, and akito came running to him halfway into an embrace the moment that his - her? - sweater got mentioned.
...
the arm belonging to the shoulder that akito squeezed cautiously draped over him, hand resting atop his back in a show of reassurance and support. )
It is all right. I mean you no ill will. I wish that I knew how to demonstrate that effectively. But... I suppose that is something that comes with time. I owe you an apology as well. I should have respected your desire to keep your personal matters to yourself.
( it was a volatile whiplash of emotions only those under her in the zodiac ever saw from akito. others had either seen the ominous facade she put up, or in the case of someone like tohru, they only saw her aggressive nature.
but for ferdinand, even if it didn’t seem that way, he was getting closer to truly knowing her. in facf the sweater kept squeezing around her, indicating that he wasn’t quite stabilized in his feeling for her.
so when his hand rested upon hers, and he offered reassuring words, all akito could do, or rather think to do was to kiss him to appease him. )
I-It’s alright, I’m the one who brought you here after all.
( with that, she moved in closer, her lips hovering above his own as she stood up on the tips of her toes and moved in for a deep kiss. )
( at first, he hesitated, not quite sure what to make of this heel-turn development from anger to affection. but after a few tense seconds, he was drawn in to her... his, lips, where he pressed a brief kiss. the electricity of it made his heart jump. after it was finished, he still hung close to his face, smiling in appeasement and glad for the turn things were taking, now. )
I am sorry. I hope that you can forgive a foolish misstep of mine.
( she truly hated to admit it but ferdinand was rather alluring and despite her own hangups about sex, she did enjoy these moments of affection with him.
to his kindness though, all she could think was what a relief it was he relented in his questions and what an idiot he was for being kind to her.
in her own childish way, perhaps this was a way for her to rationalize what she was about to do next. )
I try not to hold grudges…
( which was an absolute lie but she wouldn’t give him much of a chance to protest-
because soon her lips were back on his, giving him another kiss only this time more passionate and tense. )
( ferdinand couldn't help it. he was swept away by their lips mingling so sensuously, and oh, did he respond. in upwelling passion, he wrapped the smaller form into both of his arms as they sunk into each other, and even when one kiss was finished, he felt greedy for another, and he stole akito's again to press it, sucking a little on his lower lip as if begging for them to meld even closer. the volatility of their exchange only seemed to beget more intensity, and ferdinand found himself strapped with the need to take this deeper, if he could. )
( little by little the fabrics of her sweater began to loosen up, returning to its loose state from before. it was clear that what akito was doing was working-
but even if she didn’t have to continue on, much like ferdinand, she couldn’t help it. she was starved for love, affection, and attention and while she would never say it, this was the closest thing to what she wanted.
she leaned into his embrace, keeping her arms down for now but slowly she began to grip him as they continued to kiss. her tongue flicked against his own lips after he sucked on her lower lip and soon it was protruding into his own mouth, eager to explore. )
( ferdinand's lips were pliant against the intrusion of tongue, and he moaned softly at the arresting sensation. he let him direct, encouraging him with an inviting partition and a sweep of his own tongue from below.
if they kept going at this rate, he knew that it was going to get more heated, and if akito was fine with that, so was he. it was only natural for him and his impassioned nature to feel the urge to touch his partner while he was kissing, and one of his hands wandered down his back, his exceptionally small frame and trim waist. a bit of learned wariness forced him to take his wandering no further, for it was clear by now that akito liked to maintain firm boundaries in just about every sense, and he feared he would trigger him to back off. but this was closer than they had ever been before, and ferdinand found himself relishing the intimacy, his heart aglow with the kind of fondness and affection that couldn't be found in a first meeting, but cultivated with the budding of a connection that was beginning to feel more real, more precious, and he wanted it to grow. )
( despite how dominating she could, something like this with a stranger of all things was new to her. her heart was racing, mind filled with an abundance of thoughts but the one thing that seemed to be lingering was confusion. she wasn't sure why she was enjoying this more than she should, didn't it start off as a way to distract him?
yet as his hand wandered down her back, she couldn't help but allow it. there was no resistance on her part, just a small level of attention to ensure he didn't venture any further. in return, she continued to kiss him with an increasing passion as their tongues swirled against each other, a soft and subtle moan escaping from akito's lips. )
( however small, that moan was galvanizing, and ferdinand squeezed akito closer to him. it was uplifting to be accepted even this much, and a part of him desperately longed to test how much further he could be. his other hand cupped his cheek as he teased the roof of his mouth, his thumb stroking his delicate skin. evidence that all of what they were doing was getting to him was steadily growing more apparent. )
( as tensions escalted and akito found herself more drawn into the situation, she couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to have ferdinand's hands all over her body. touching parts of her that she only showed to those who knew of her secret. his warm hand caressing her body instead of her face, showing her affection and devotion. there was a part of her that knew he would probably do it-
considering his behavior after their first encounter. yet she was afraid to let things go that far, for him to find out her secret and see just how much of a desperate person she was for love and affection. she had shown him so much today...
so for now she decided that if things progressed further, she would indulge in pleasuring him and keeping it at that. she didn't pull from him or the kiss, instead opting to take a small break, her lips still hovering over his. )
Ferdinand...
( her voice is a soft whisper, almost calling for him to give her more. whether he closed the gap first or not, her lips were soon back onto his, taking all that he gave her. )
( ferdinand heeded the call, their lips colliding again at a different angle, over and over again. between them, ferdinand returned akito's name at a fawning whisper of his own and continued to savor the sparkingly soft sensation. it felt as though his hand was moving on its own accord, sliding down the rest of his spine, the gentle curve of it inherent to either sex tilting his wonder toward the idea that he had simply assumed akito to be a man, the notion never challenged by anything save the hints provided by his own body, made more evident to him moments ago. his other hand caressed his cheek, still so soft to his touch, and followed the direction of the one that rested upon the small of her back down her neck.
he broke the kisses again to breathe, gazing into akito's eyes with a star-stricken glaze, face flushed. )
( there's a stirring sensation inside of her, yearning for far more than she should want. with each kiss against her lips, each thrust of his tongue into her mouth, she found herself wanting more. yet she couldn't, not with the way he moaned her name back at her.
that level of vulnerability, she wasn't ready for it yet. however she knew how he had reacted last time to her pushing him off so she thought about what to do as his hand explored her back more. should she stop this and send him off? would his feelings sway once more, causing her sweater to punish her?
it was there when he broke from the kiss and gazed into her eyes, that she thought of a compromise. she was surprisingly rather shy now, coming down from how hot and heavy the kissing had gotten. but then she found renewed confidence and her dominating attitude came back around. )
Is that right? Are my lips that irresistible? That you can't help but want relief?
( if he paid close attention, it almost seemed that she was implying she would be helping him with that- him alone. )
( reminding him of the way he'd pleased him, and so suggestively, forces him to swallow, his cock throbbing for want of the feeling that remained tingling upon his lips and tongue. )
I cannot deny how much I long to feel that again. And I do not have it in me to refuse. ( but indeed, as it is in ferdinand's nature to find his partner's pleasure to be the pinnacle of the experience, something at the back of his mind bothers him, and he closes in to give another kiss. ) But... surely, you are burning for something in turn? I have been told that I am rather skilled with my mouth, you know...
( furthermore, it would help to confirm the questions that was now buzzing through his brain. )
( much like himself, akito couldn't help but instinctively lick her lips and swallow down the arousal that was building up inside of her. ferdinand was so different than from her, openly stating his feeling and what he wanted. if they hadn't met in the manner they had, she may have never come to see this side of him-
and he most likely would have only seen just how truly vile she could be. yet here they were, comforting each other through passionate kisses and something more to come. still there was a twinge of anger in akito with how insistent ferdinand was with pleasuring her in return. she didn't know about his curiosity but if she thought about it, she could see why he was pushing for that.
so she would have to be careful with this, figure out a way to deny him what he wanted while still keeping him content. )
You've done more than enough for me...let me show you my gratitude.
( for now she reached out to press her index and middle fingers against his lips, holding them there for a moment before pulling away and turning towards a couch in her apartment. she motioned for him to sit. )
( hmm... it was odd the first time, how akito refused to be pleasured in turn despite the whole background of their initial meeting surrounding the fact that the love bugs had gotten to him, and he needed release from their effects. it's still odd now that his suggestion to please him the way that he had and is about to is brushed off. his brow starts to knit as he puzzles over this, but akito presses fingers to his lips and he withholds any immediate rebukes, insistences, or, worse yet, questions. then, upon being given a direction, he follows it. )
( in that instance, the overwhelming need for pleasure nearly drove akito into allowing the other to please her. there was a reason she nearly bolted the moment he had his own release-
but now, she still needed to cling onto that last shred of control she had left. she had nothing, nobody here but her secret. it followed her like a ghost and even if it stood in the way of what she wanted, she refused to give it up. so while she didn't want to upset him, she did her best to balance both things; keeping her secret while keeping ferdinand's feelings towards her as positive as possible.
once he sat on the couch, she stood before him before leaning in to kiss him once more. her hands reached for the sides of his head, fingers gently intertwining into his hair before she pulled away. )
Just enjoy this....you're the only one I'm willing to do this for without any of the ridiculous motivations this place has.
( there was some sincerity in her words there because really, she didn't have to do this. she was doing it because she became genuinely aroused by him. )
( akito's words got to him, possibly even more impactful with his parting kiss, hands just in his hair but no longer. )
Truly?
( not that it's an earth-shattering surprise, considering how lonesome and unsociable akito seemed. but him? was he growing on him?
he hoped so. it touched him, being special, and he much preferred the thought of someone wanting to do this with him of their own will and desire, unshackled from the necessity of the act imposed upon them all. and, not wanting to upset him in turn, ferdinand settled into compliance, settling back on the couch, legs parting just a little as if in silent invitation. )
Then... I will let you do exactly as you like with me.
( his acceptance of her boundaries and demands almost felt like a victory to akito. such things were so few and far in between now, ever since she had arrived. truly it almost drove her to tears, an exasperated release of all the pent up anger, fear, and loneliness she had felt. however for now, she controlled herself, focusing instead on what was to come.
she was aroused and drawn to him, and her words weren't a lie. they were manipulative, yes but she had meant what she said even if it gave her the upper hand. so instead of answering him, she simply nodded and kept her gaze on his body as she hovered down to the floor on her knees for him.
her hands reached for the button of his pants, fingers working to undo the fabric and it was then that she finally spoke. )
Good....because I want to see just how hard I've made you with my lips alone.
( a shiver rolled up his spine at those words, which were even more effective at rattling him just right while he unbuttoned and unzipped him, revealing the dark tented fabric of his underwear, and upon seeing a dot of his own precum where the head of it was trapped, a rash of abashment blazed through him at yet more evidence as to how much so little had already excited him. he huffed one quick sigh to shake off some of the excesses of his emotions and smiled. )
I think that you will be quite satisfied with what you have accomplished.
( as if to further emphasize his submission to his will, he elected not to interfere with akito's work, even to help reveal himself completely, sliding his hands slowly behind his back as if they were tied there. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I am really worried about you. I mean, look at you, and... ( he gestures to akito, and continues on earnestly. ) I feel as though there is something more beneath the surface of what you have already told me. I do not wish to cast any judgment on you for what you are going through, I just wish that I could do something more than merely make you tea and keep you company. Especially since you seem so... alone.
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( with the cup now set down, she turned towards ferdinand with a rather angry expression on her face. she wanted his comfort and attention, this much was true, but she didn't want to be pitied. to be looked down upon, look as a sullen person who needed love out of a sense of obligation.
she rose up, this time moving away from the table and towards a window in the apartment. there she looked outside, seeing the up with eyes of disgust. finally after a moment of silence, she spoke, turning her head to ferdinand. )
Alone, what a genius observation really-
and what will you do once you get to know me better? Will you be by my side day and night and cure my loneliness? Hold and kiss my tears away? Or will you abandon me once you grow bored with me? Is that what you see? A project to fix?
I shouldn't have asked you to come. You can't ever understand me, let alone come to care for me.
no subject
You cannot say that when you spurn my attempts to understand whatever it is you refuse to allow! Otherwise, you have no proof that I could never do that. You are not a project, Akito. You are a person...
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it didn't take very long, but the sweater she had on was slowly starting to tighten. the fabric began to compress, almost shrinking down in size but the process was slow enough for akito not to notice it immediately. )
A person? You don't know what I truly am.
( she nearly wanted to yell out what she truly was-
the god of the zodiac, head of a family full of cursed people and their only salvation was her. however she knew that would bring about its own set of troubles. so she moved back instead, her arm waving out as if to get him to step back. )
You say you'll understand me, but you won't ever. I don't need your pity...
no subject
Akito, your sweater...
( but how strange! and for a moment, he could swear that the form he was looking at struck him as more of a young woman than the young man he had assumed him to be. )
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while anyone else wouldn't have cared deeply about the outcome of the sweater getting tighter and would care more about the pain of it, akito genuinely didn't want anyone to know what she was hiding. so she immediately began to move closer to ferdinand, her arms covering her body as much as possible but it was clear that the 'man' before him, was rather feminine. )
I'm sorry....okay? I'm sorry I didn't mean what I said....I just don't want....
( her right hand immediately rose up to rest on his shoulder, fingers squeezing ferdinand softly, almost begging. )
You to hurt me.
no subject
...
the arm belonging to the shoulder that akito squeezed cautiously draped over him, hand resting atop his back in a show of reassurance and support. )
It is all right. I mean you no ill will. I wish that I knew how to demonstrate that effectively. But... I suppose that is something that comes with time. I owe you an apology as well. I should have respected your desire to keep your personal matters to yourself.
no subject
but for ferdinand, even if it didn’t seem that way, he was getting closer to truly knowing her. in facf the sweater kept squeezing around her, indicating that he wasn’t quite stabilized in his feeling for her.
so when his hand rested upon hers, and he offered reassuring words, all akito could do, or rather think to do was to kiss him to appease him. )
I-It’s alright, I’m the one who brought you here after all.
( with that, she moved in closer, her lips hovering above his own as she stood up on the tips of her toes and moved in for a deep kiss. )
no subject
I am sorry. I hope that you can forgive a foolish misstep of mine.
no subject
to his kindness though, all she could think was what a relief it was he relented in his questions and what an idiot he was for being kind to her.
in her own childish way, perhaps this was a way for her to rationalize what she was about to do next. )
I try not to hold grudges…
( which was an absolute lie but she wouldn’t give him much of a chance to protest-
because soon her lips were back on his, giving him another kiss only this time more passionate and tense. )
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but even if she didn’t have to continue on, much like ferdinand, she couldn’t help it. she was starved for love, affection, and attention and while she would never say it, this was the closest thing to what she wanted.
she leaned into his embrace, keeping her arms down for now but slowly she began to grip him as they continued to kiss. her tongue flicked against his own lips after he sucked on her lower lip and soon it was protruding into his own mouth, eager to explore. )
no subject
if they kept going at this rate, he knew that it was going to get more heated, and if akito was fine with that, so was he. it was only natural for him and his impassioned nature to feel the urge to touch his partner while he was kissing, and one of his hands wandered down his back, his exceptionally small frame and trim waist. a bit of learned wariness forced him to take his wandering no further, for it was clear by now that akito liked to maintain firm boundaries in just about every sense, and he feared he would trigger him to back off. but this was closer than they had ever been before, and ferdinand found himself relishing the intimacy, his heart aglow with the kind of fondness and affection that couldn't be found in a first meeting, but cultivated with the budding of a connection that was beginning to feel more real, more precious, and he wanted it to grow. )
no subject
yet as his hand wandered down her back, she couldn't help but allow it. there was no resistance on her part, just a small level of attention to ensure he didn't venture any further. in return, she continued to kiss him with an increasing passion as their tongues swirled against each other, a soft and subtle moan escaping from akito's lips. )
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considering his behavior after their first encounter. yet she was afraid to let things go that far, for him to find out her secret and see just how much of a desperate person she was for love and affection. she had shown him so much today...
so for now she decided that if things progressed further, she would indulge in pleasuring him and keeping it at that. she didn't pull from him or the kiss, instead opting to take a small break, her lips still hovering over his. )
Ferdinand...
( her voice is a soft whisper, almost calling for him to give her more. whether he closed the gap first or not, her lips were soon back onto his, taking all that he gave her. )
no subject
he broke the kisses again to breathe, gazing into akito's eyes with a star-stricken glaze, face flushed. )
Akito... I am burning for you.
no subject
that level of vulnerability, she wasn't ready for it yet. however she knew how he had reacted last time to her pushing him off so she thought about what to do as his hand explored her back more. should she stop this and send him off? would his feelings sway once more, causing her sweater to punish her?
it was there when he broke from the kiss and gazed into her eyes, that she thought of a compromise. she was surprisingly rather shy now, coming down from how hot and heavy the kissing had gotten. but then she found renewed confidence and her dominating attitude came back around. )
Is that right? Are my lips that irresistible? That you can't help but want relief?
( if he paid close attention, it almost seemed that she was implying she would be helping him with that- him alone. )
no subject
I cannot deny how much I long to feel that again. And I do not have it in me to refuse. ( but indeed, as it is in ferdinand's nature to find his partner's pleasure to be the pinnacle of the experience, something at the back of his mind bothers him, and he closes in to give another kiss. ) But... surely, you are burning for something in turn? I have been told that I am rather skilled with my mouth, you know...
( furthermore, it would help to confirm the questions that was now buzzing through his brain. )
no subject
and he most likely would have only seen just how truly vile she could be. yet here they were, comforting each other through passionate kisses and something more to come. still there was a twinge of anger in akito with how insistent ferdinand was with pleasuring her in return. she didn't know about his curiosity but if she thought about it, she could see why he was pushing for that.
so she would have to be careful with this, figure out a way to deny him what he wanted while still keeping him content. )
You've done more than enough for me...let me show you my gratitude.
( for now she reached out to press her index and middle fingers against his lips, holding them there for a moment before pulling away and turning towards a couch in her apartment. she motioned for him to sit. )
no subject
I would like to do more for you, though...
no subject
but now, she still needed to cling onto that last shred of control she had left. she had nothing, nobody here but her secret. it followed her like a ghost and even if it stood in the way of what she wanted, she refused to give it up. so while she didn't want to upset him, she did her best to balance both things; keeping her secret while keeping ferdinand's feelings towards her as positive as possible.
once he sat on the couch, she stood before him before leaning in to kiss him once more. her hands reached for the sides of his head, fingers gently intertwining into his hair before she pulled away. )
Just enjoy this....you're the only one I'm willing to do this for without any of the ridiculous motivations this place has.
( there was some sincerity in her words there because really, she didn't have to do this. she was doing it because she became genuinely aroused by him. )
no subject
Truly?
( not that it's an earth-shattering surprise, considering how lonesome and unsociable akito seemed. but him? was he growing on him?
he hoped so. it touched him, being special, and he much preferred the thought of someone wanting to do this with him of their own will and desire, unshackled from the necessity of the act imposed upon them all. and, not wanting to upset him in turn, ferdinand settled into compliance, settling back on the couch, legs parting just a little as if in silent invitation. )
Then... I will let you do exactly as you like with me.
no subject
she was aroused and drawn to him, and her words weren't a lie. they were manipulative, yes but she had meant what she said even if it gave her the upper hand. so instead of answering him, she simply nodded and kept her gaze on his body as she hovered down to the floor on her knees for him.
her hands reached for the button of his pants, fingers working to undo the fabric and it was then that she finally spoke. )
Good....because I want to see just how hard I've made you with my lips alone.
no subject
I think that you will be quite satisfied with what you have accomplished.
( as if to further emphasize his submission to his will, he elected not to interfere with akito's work, even to help reveal himself completely, sliding his hands slowly behind his back as if they were tied there. )
(no subject)
Crawls out of the earth......