beenoble | Duplicity Inbox

Of course I want to see you! If that was all it took to chase me away, then I am afraid you could not call me a true friend.

[She needs reassurances like these more than most people. And that's okay! He is glad to offer them plentifully. Does he need anything before he leaves? No, not really. She's coming as she is, and so he will do the same. He starts coming down the stairs to catch up with her so that they can get out of here.]

Lead the way, Bernadetta.

[ That's food for thought, isn't it? Because she let her impulses drive herself away from him, from Hubert, from Annette. Was she not a good friend? She's the problem, but... she doesn't want to be the problem again.

She tucks her hands into the convenient front pocket of her hoodie as they fall into step - she'll try not to fall behind him! ]

We can go this way. It won't be too bad! I've stopped bringing my bow around since I haven't really needed it. Isn't that a surprise?

[ Either way, it wouldn't be much use in close quarters, which most crime here happened to be. Luckily the way to the elevator is pretty straightforward and safe, so they should be their in no time. ]

When we're in the Up... I was thinking - we should, um. Look for stables? I think there's some up there. If not for today, maybe... next time?

There is a bit of irony to that, is there not? Similarly, I am not usually bringing my lance with me most places.

[~~But Bernadettaaaaa what about equipping Close Counter~~ That can invite trouble in different ways depending on where he is, Up or Down. It is particularly troublesome in the Up, where the need to defend oneself is less prominent and therefore somewhat senseless to do anyway. At any rate, he can still ward enemies off without a weapon, though not as effectively (or mortally, which is not something he wants! Bad idea besides, most likely).

Ferdinand looks at Bernadetta, piqued with intrigue.]

Stables? To board a horse in? [A sad smile appears.] I no longer have one. Unless... you mean for me to get the chance to spend time with them? [Some hopeful excitement trails at the end of his question.] That might be nice. I do so miss being around horses. Even seeing one would do me well.

[ ~~Maybe this is a Bow Knight build Bernie that abuses Canto!~~ Oh no, has she said something bad? She doesn't like that smile of his. But her brows furrow in thought. ]

I just heard about them being around, so I don't know -- maybe... we could see if they have a horse to spare, if you want one here? [ There's no true need for one - they didn't have anywhere to go. But... ]

I think I'd like to see some, too. I know it was tedious, but I liked looking after them at home. A lot of people don't like stablework, so... [ They were one of those places she could hide in, if she needed to. ]

[Any wistfulness for his equine companions falls away as they reminisce and break open ways they might be able to reconnect to a piece of themselves they left behind.]

They do grouse and gripe about the task, don't they? [he agrees brightly, with a short chuckle at the thought.] Which is why I wonder if we have not just walked right into the perfect solution? Surely, if there are stables, then they must have need of stable hands? Imagine, Bernadetta! It would be wonderful to get the chance to tend to horses with you again. And as I have been finding myself so restless these days, this would be a fine remedy for some of that.

Oh, maybe! Do you think they'll let us help out as stable hands? [ Such a different, unglamorous way of passing the time. She's also been thinking of getting some sort of work, she didn't like having to rely on her dominant for money. If things didn't work out for her embroidery efforts, this would be another option. ]

Even if they wouldn't, it'll just be a nice way to spend an afternoon or two. Maybe. If you think so?

An afternoon alone would be splendid. Oh, this is so exciting. I can hardly wait. [Yeah, Ferdinand, we can tell! You're practically sparkling. A whim seizes him, then.] Do you think we can check them out before or after we have tea? I must make myself present at my temporary Dominant's place later today, so my time is not unlimited, but even just a look would be delightful.

Oh. I think we can do whatever you want to do, Ferdinand. [ She'll have a tough time of it, if there's a lot of people in a place she's never been before. Bernie isn't adventurous or anything, and often needs... prep time. To do things. New things!

But stables aren't technically new. And she'll be with someone she knew, so... It'll be fine, surely. Hopefully. She'll do it, because it's his birthday. ]

Also, um, I didn't know you had other plans. I'm so sorry! If you want, we can have tea another time? I don't want anyone to get mad at you.

Please do not get the wrong idea. I must assure you I have enough time to budget like this with you. Hmm... [His pace slows a little as he turns inward briefly to consider the two options and how to approach them. They are both his cup of tea, so to speak, and would be fantastic ways to have a birthday outing.] Let's stick with our original plan for now. But we absolutely must go out and introduce ourselves to the horses and who cares for them sometime soon. It will give me something to look forward to.

Yeah. [ He's right, isn't he? He sounds like he's right. Bernie nods, and resolves to herself that she'll go out to do this with him. She could do that. ] ... Yeah! I think it will be something to look forward to, too.

[ They get to the elevator, and Bernie looks around, surprised. That didn't feel very far. How funny, that she could talk to Ferdinand and feel neither distance, nor the passage of time. Hopefully it isn't too crowded, and they don't run into much trouble when they get to the Up.

She sucks a deep breath through her teeth. ]

Um. Should... we just go?

[Ferdinand notes her deep breath, her hesitance in proceeding forward and up. Hmm...]

Does riding the elevator make you uneasy?

[Maybe it was shortsighted of him not to have considered this a possible impediment to the elevator route. Especially having ridden with Hubert, who tried to brave it but could not fully hide the nervous tension that came with being lifted higher. In Ferdinand's mind, it is better than chancing the train station.]

[ She looks at him uncertainly. She could be honest, but he'd want to take some other way, and she didn't want to walk all the way to that train station and have to do what other dominants said there, especially if it meant he would need to do what they said, so the elevator was probably the best thing for the both of them even if it shook and felt strange and was packed with other strangers and, and, and... ]

Um... a little. But the train is too far, and I think it'll be okay. I'm just being silly - everyone else can use it just fine!

You are not being silly, Bernadetta. Everyone else is used to this contraption, but we had nothing like this where we come from. [Riding flying mounts is quite a bit different than letting a machine drive one up to staggering heights. He wants to make her more comfortable, somehow... The elevator comes down, and the doors open for the passengers to board. They have little time to dilly-dally. Ferdinand glances over to it, and then to Bernadetta, and instead of searching for the words or the method by which to spare her some discomfort, he takes her by the hand and starts to move, lingering until she is ready to follow, smiling at her to reassure her.]

But we can continue to get used to it together. Would you like me to stake out a corner for you, so that you only have to stand next to me?

["You can hold onto me if you get scared," he wants to add, but after their whole to-kiss-or-not-to-kiss debacle, he holds his tongue as a precaution. After all, the thought kind of makes his heart skip.]

[ There's enough people around that Bernie can recognize the futility of his idea. Everyone had to come in somehow, so it wouldn't do to set aside a whole corner for her. That would be selfish! People would get mad.

It's also crowded enough that she holds onto his hand like it's a lifeline. Between keeping to herself and staying close to a familiar presence... The latter felt much safer.

So she follows him in, and stays close to wherever he'll go. ]

You don't have to do that. Staking out a corner, I mean. Sorry. I can... this is just fine! [ There's so many people, and it's a bit of a squeeze, but... it'll be over soon! She takes a deep breath before the doors closed. Maybe she can focus on holding it until they open again. ]

[She is just trying to put on a brave face for him, isn't she? Perhaps to avoid creating an inconvenience to him and to others. In that case, he will stop asking her if she would like him to do something for her and simply try to do it.]

There will be nothing gained from failing to try. Come on.

[He holds her hand like it's his sworn duty as he pushes and knits through the thickening crowd to carve out the most opportune space. While it might be possible to get what he wants, he starts to get some disgruntled attitude, especially from a few Dominants who did not appreciate the way this Submissive so impertinently bumped against them. A tight weave forms naturally, obstructing Ferdinand's nearest goal point, and at this juncture, they are surrounded, people are miffed, and the elevator is moving. And poor Bernadetta is not in a good spot.

Apology scrunches his expression. Failing her like this when he was so determined to make her most comfortable makes him want to kick himself. The only thing left to do is... shield her as best as he can from being squished by other people, guiding his arm behind her in the closest thing to an embrace.]

I am sorry, Bernadetta... That did not work out so well this time.

[ This could fluster her, maybe, if she weren't so agoraphobic. The press of too many people, too close, are setting off a lot of alarm bells in her head; but being in a tiny box with nowhere to go, she has nothing to do but shut most everything out for a few moments.

She owes it to him to respond, though, so she manages to mumble a little It's okay,
looking down at her feet so she doesn't have to look anywhere else and just let her thoughts get away from her. She's wearing decent walking boots with her tights today. Really good for running away! She didn't think she'd see Ferdinand up close so she hadn't thought about perfumes or oils like Dorothea said she ought to use, so she probably just smells like Geto's house, incense and green tea. Is that bad? It's probably bad. She gets the feeling that neither Hubert nor Ferdinand like the idea of her being contracted. But Geto's been nothing nice and accomodating, and lets her do what she likes, see who she likes. Lately she's found herself thinking of familiar things and familiar people, so she keeps coming back to making and giving them things... maybe she ought to tone that down? After all, getting too close to them in this city will make her shortcomings that much more obvious. She didn't want them to know all that.

There's a ding of a bell as the metal box shudders to a stop and she clutches Ferdinand's hand close, tries not to rush out the door. It was impossible to miss how disgruntled some Dominants were being, so she didn't want to invite further scrutiny - at least until they could finally get back outside, where it's... Not sunny, but at least there's no rain, today. A good day for tea, hopefully? ]

That... was that okay?

[Ferdinand scarcely noticed trifling details like how she smelled. Even their proximity and how that makes him feel sunk deeper and deeper into the backseat as the weight of failing her and attuning to how the whole experience was getting to her took the helm.

If she doesn't rush, then Ferdinand is booking it in an orderly manner, without outright making a dash for it or getting in anyone's way. He just knows that she needs to be apart from the crowd, and the sooner the better.]

For me, yes. Do you need a moment, Bernadetta?

[ She shakes her head no, though she keeps a tight hand on him. She's fine, no one's hurt her like she irrationally thought they would, and Ferdinand is still here. ]

No, I... I'm okay. We can go! [ They should get going, even! They had a time table, didn't they, since Ferdinand had to be elsewhere after this, too. ]

[ ... ]

Thank you. I know I don't exactly make things easy.

[Ferdinand does not let go of her hand, either. Wishing he could do more to help encourage her, he squeezes, then glides his thumb over her knuckles.]

You did well, though. Whenever you are ready, we shall continue.

[And whenever that is, they soon resume their journey to Honestea without any more hitches. Ferdinand had wandered past the shop and tea room when it had been closed during his first days, so to be able to enjoy it now and satisfy his curiosity is a treat. Simply coming in and being swept up in the heavenly aromas elevates his mood even higher than it had already been climbing back up again. Business is slow, and so the atmosphere remains quiet and peaceful, which is perfect especially for Bernadetta, he thinks. After taking a quick look at the array of options, an idea strikes Ferdinand.]

We can create custom blends here... Would that not be fun? Crafting one together that we would both really enjoy? I think that maybe something fruity would suit us...

[ She isn't nearly as knowledgeable as Ferdinand is when it comes to tea - is anyone as knowledgeable, really? So Bernie is content to let him have fun peering over all the options, doing her best to listen as he points out different tea leaves and blends.

He suggests doing something together, though, and that makes her cheeks flush. ]

Oh! Um... I think that'd be really nice. It sounds like something to remember this day by. If you don't mind it. [ "First birthday in sex dystopia" doesn't sound like something to celebrate, honestly, but if that's what would make him feel better - and of course, they all needed things to feel better - then... she wouldn't say no to that. ]

At home... the Professor would always get me fruit teas, usually a blend of berries and black tea. Somehow they knew it was my favorite kind? [ She still doesn't know how they know. Maybe the Professor was just really good at guessing and keeping watch. ]

[He doesn't mind it at all! Quite the opposite. That she seems concordant with his idea and appreciates the significance only enhances his smile and his zeal. Mentioning their professor is just the cherry on top.]

Professor always had an almost uncanny knack for understanding our likes and dislikes. [It's almost as if they had all the information available to them at the tips of their fingertips...] Our preferences will harmonize well, considering that I favor both black teas and fruit blends. Oh...! This black tea smells divine. It has a bright and aromatic punch that is not too overpowering. [he interrupts himself in the process of himself opening jars to inspect the myriad offerings. He brings it to Bernadetta for her olfactory perusal and asks for her input.] What do you think?

[ She hums in acknowledgement, happy to hear him talk in detail about something he loved. That's something she could relate to - sometimes it helped just knowing someone would listen as she went on about what she liked without telling her it was all useless prattle.

It's easy, of course, just to listen. But he asks her for her opinion, and that's always sort of terrifying. What if she said the wrong thing? What if it turned out she hated it? What if making a blend with her turned out to be a mistake? What if...

She leans forward, head bowed towards the jar in his hands, fingertips landing just shy of his so she can take a delicate sniff. ]

... Oh! I think I like this, it smells familiar. [ Like something from home! She glances up to smile at Ferdinand, pleasantly surprised. ] I think it'll make a good cup of tea.

[His heart skips a little bit at the glancing near-contact between their fingertips, and for some reason her leaning in toward him with this focused, receptive intention induces a squishy feeling there, too. The intrusive recollection that she could have kissed him recently phases back in, and the heat of the emotion swirls up like sunlight rising off of rocky terrain. For just a fraction of a moment, he's thrown off balance, the suspense of it opening in his expression... but her smile and approval sparkle in him, and his smile in return reflects that.]

As do I! We will use this, then. Now, as for the berries...

[Whew! His composure could have been compromised, there. They spend some time concocting the birthday blend like this, nosing around different ingredients and deciding together which fruit flavors would be tastiest and combine the best. Ferdinand's enthusiasm for the task continues as he chatters about every discovery and how everything impacts his senses, but while he gets carried away, he tries not to dominate the discussion when the whole point is collaborating on what they both really like. Soon enough, they get it blended and brewed, and they stake out the coziest and most private corner for themselves to enjoy it in.]

You cannot believe how tempting it is to burn my mouth on this, [he remarks as he pours the scalding liquid into his saucer.] I am so impatient to try...

[ Berries are a little easier for Bernadetta to navigate, as far as topics of conversation go. They're fruit, they're used in pastry, she likes to cook and dabble in baking, she's familiar with flavors and colors and plants... It means she can keep up with Ferdinand a little easier, and even if he'll always shine the brightest in any room, she doesn't feel quite so blinded like this, when she can chirp in now and then. It really does feel like a collaboration, and she hopes they come up with something that they can both think about fondly.

The moment of truth awaits as they sit together with their new tea. She takes care to sit across, instead of next to him like she did the last time they saw each other. But the table is small, so their knees still brush a little up against each other underneath if they're not careful (and Bernie tries to be careful. She does! He can't get the wrong idea of her again. But... it's a small table.) ]

It's hard to wait! But it's harder to have a burn on your lip, or tongue. [ She gives him a funny look, holding an empty cup of her own. ] I'm not even sure how you'd treat that. I'm not very good at waiting, but I think I'm worse at, um, first aid and things like that.

[Why is she looking at him like that? He didn't say anything strange, did he? Ferdinand tips the spout over Bernadetta's empty cup to fill it up just right, contemplating the minor pain and ignominy of a burnt mouth (which he is no stranger to) to start, and then administering first aid to such an area. Prone to getting carried away by thoughts as he is, of course, leads to him picturing what he might do if Bernadetta really burnt herself on tea: practically, at first, but then... whimsically.

If only it could be kissed better! he reins in with force. It's Ferdinand's turn to give a bit of a funny look, though it has nothing to do with anything that Bernadetta is doing, and it amounts to a kind of goofy, self-conscious smile. He sets the teapot back down between them and scrambles for a better response that won't totally implicate him in contemplating his lips upon hers... (again!). What if he sends her running again! That would be the worst...]

You are completely right. Though, if anything, my occasional spells of this particular impatient indiscretion have at least taught me that pressing a cool cloth between my lips helps it to feel better. Then, of course, a salve can be applied to encourage healing. The rest is simply time's course.

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