W-well. It's not like you had a choice. I think it wouldn't have gone through anyway - those things aren't exactly decided by us. [ Or so she thinks. That's how it worked for her - she was offered, and the offer was either accepted or rejected. All she had to do was make herself as appealing as possible - and clearly she wasn't appealing enough for Ferdinand's family. She turns quiet and looks down at the teacup, a fingertip tracing over the rim. ]
I guess... I'm just glad we can decide to do things we want here. Not always, sometimes we don't even have a choice, but we can figure things out, you know?
So, um, even if it's ironic... I hope it was nice. And that you get even better ones now that you know it's not that bad!
[Except he had some significant sway in his choice... which says more about his parents. The sweet smile he gives her gains a bitter tinge as he remembers them while cast in a fonder light, that while concerned for their prestigious family's position and future, they also cared about their son's personal feelings, too. Did Count Varley even once consider hers?
They're gone now. Done away with, no longer participants in shaping Fodlan's future. Duplicity did not give them more freedom in this capacity: they fought for it themselves. If anything, Duplicity is further imposing a barrier to certain relations... He's not sure if Bernadetta can see the invisible one standing between them now.]
It was lovely. I would absolutely do it again.
[With her, he hopes, again. In Duplicity, it feels as though the closest thing to any relationship that should culminate into marriage is impossible for them. It isn't even an option. At the very least, no one is going to blink an eye at two Submissives holding hands and kissing in the corner of a tea room. Though, thanks in part to Duplicity's influence, that is why they felt emboldened enough to do this, knowing that this sort of intimacy bleeds outside of the relationships they both were used to confining them in... even without the prospect of marriage hovering over their heads. Just pure, physical affection, a type of romantic feeling floating within him he can't seem to pen in. It isn't the first time he's felt this way since coming here, and perhaps that part of it is most confusing of all. What is he supposed to do with them all?
Oh. Well, so much of this place is still terrifying! [ Her eyes grow wide at the thought that he might think she's brave or confident about what awaits them, here. She isn't! She could never be, without a little help. ]
But if I weren't even a little bit optimistic, I think I'd just... Well, you know me. I'd be a mess. [ She tries to laugh it off, fiddling with her the hem of her sweater. Honestly, she's still sort of a disaster. Maybe finding a contract was the one good thing she'd managed to do here - but... today's the last day of the month. Bernie knew what that meant - she'd probably have to be taken to the center over the next week or so. It was half a choice, and half not - it's not like it's easy to seek people out, find ways to sleep with them. Actually ask. Not once, but three times? So she simply hadn't. But no one had to know that.
She gives Ferdinand a little smile. ]
It's starting to get a little easier, though, with you and Hubert around.
[Her smile and her response prompts a smile out of him in turn.]
You have the right of it. I see no sense in drooping with the weight of the pessimism this place seems to bear upon people. I, too, would be worse for the wear without you and Hubert around. I will never take that for granted.
[He'd wanted to add Annette, but can't for obvious reasons. Who knows? Maybe she was experiencing something similar to what he went through? Of course, it may also be for the best that she not come back at all.]
There is so much to discover, too. About people from completely different lands... I find that in particular quite thrilling.
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no subject
I guess... I'm just glad we can decide to do things we want here. Not always, sometimes we don't even have a choice, but we can figure things out, you know?
So, um, even if it's ironic... I hope it was nice. And that you get even better ones now that you know it's not that bad!
no subject
They're gone now. Done away with, no longer participants in shaping Fodlan's future. Duplicity did not give them more freedom in this capacity: they fought for it themselves. If anything, Duplicity is further imposing a barrier to certain relations... He's not sure if Bernadetta can see the invisible one standing between them now.]
It was lovely. I would absolutely do it again.
[With her, he hopes, again. In Duplicity, it feels as though the closest thing to any relationship that should culminate into marriage is impossible for them. It isn't even an option. At the very least, no one is going to blink an eye at two Submissives holding hands and kissing in the corner of a tea room. Though, thanks in part to Duplicity's influence, that is why they felt emboldened enough to do this, knowing that this sort of intimacy bleeds outside of the relationships they both were used to confining them in... even without the prospect of marriage hovering over their heads. Just pure, physical affection, a type of romantic feeling floating within him he can't seem to pen in. It isn't the first time he's felt this way since coming here, and perhaps that part of it is most confusing of all. What is he supposed to do with them all?
He squeezes her hand.]
You seem rather... optimistic about this place.
no subject
But if I weren't even a little bit optimistic, I think I'd just... Well, you know me. I'd be a mess. [ She tries to laugh it off, fiddling with her the hem of her sweater. Honestly, she's still sort of a disaster. Maybe finding a contract was the one good thing she'd managed to do here - but... today's the last day of the month. Bernie knew what that meant - she'd probably have to be taken to the center over the next week or so. It was half a choice, and half not - it's not like it's easy to seek people out, find ways to sleep with them. Actually ask. Not once, but three times? So she simply hadn't. But no one had to know that.
She gives Ferdinand a little smile. ]
It's starting to get a little easier, though, with you and Hubert around.
no subject
You have the right of it. I see no sense in drooping with the weight of the pessimism this place seems to bear upon people. I, too, would be worse for the wear without you and Hubert around. I will never take that for granted.
[He'd wanted to add Annette, but can't for obvious reasons. Who knows? Maybe she was experiencing something similar to what he went through? Of course, it may also be for the best that she not come back at all.]
There is so much to discover, too. About people from completely different lands... I find that in particular quite thrilling.